All the single ladies, now put your hands up!
Me! My hands are up! Because I am single! Yes, that's right you heard it here first folks. A young, 24 year old woman who still hasn’t found the “one.” Sounds like a common picture, but for some reason, people often seem surprised when I tell them.
It’s just little things. Like someone at work asking me what my boyfriend does or my relatives wondering if I have anyone special in my life. It’s hearing a chorus of statements like “well good for you going out on your own” or “don’t worry, one day you’ll find someone special.”
The thing is, I know I will. The perfect person is out there for me, I absolutely know it. I also know that I’m not necessarily in a hurry to find him. Because for now, the special person in my life is me.
Right now, my singleness is my superpower.
It gives me laser focus on my goals and who I want to become. It lets me fly solo and meet new and interesting people every day. It melts away the pressures I used to feel about who I needed to be in order to please and provide for another person. In a way, it's very freeing.
Do I sometimes miss being in love? Oh, absolutely. Do I get desperately lonely sometimes? Of course I do, I’m human. But I also know that I would rather be alone than with the wrong person.
I used to have all these expectations for my life. Growing up, I genuinely thought that I would have my whole life figured out by my 20s. My 7 year old self probably expected present day me to be married by now and living in a house with my first kid on the way. Well present day me decided to change up the plan a little bit.
Being in your 20s is strange, because people are getting married and starting new chapters of their lives as homeowners and even parents. And in a way, I feel a weird pressure still to be following in their footsteps. Like I am behind in some way.
But that is their timeline, and I am living in mine. They’re in the middle of their perfect love story, while mine is just waiting to begin.
So there is no need to pity me in my singleness. We are well past the days of Elizabeth Bennet and Jo March where a single woman is seen as nothing but an imposition. I get to write my own story now, and I don’t need a man to help me or society to give me permission to do so.
I don’t see being single as anything but a blessing. It’s a way for me to prepare my heart and create a version of myself I am truly proud of. That way, when the right person comes along, we can truly fit together, rather than forcing something that isn’t right.
So all my single ladies (and gentlemen), put your hands up! Embrace the power of prioritizing yourself. Embrace going places alone and just seeing who you might meet or what you might experience. Embrace the things that are scary. And don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re wrong or somehow behind just because you’re doing life on your own right now.
Be your own significant other. Say yes to yourself. And embrace your superpower.